Waiting

Waiting. That maybe the only word neccesary to describe the last several months. Waiting, maybe the worst of all earthly activites. It can be a time of anticipation or it can be unbearable and it may switch minute by minute. My favorite song during this time was from the sound track of the movie Fireproof, While I'm Waiting, by John Waller. It begins with "I'm waiting, I'm waiting on you Lord and I am hopeful, I'm waiting, I'm waiting on you Lord although it's painful, I'm waiting on you Lord, but patiently I will wait. Waiting is painful. Sometimes people will make a decision, even a wrong decision to end the pain of waiting.

Once our dossier arrived in Colombia it was translated and we immediately receive a referral. The referral was for 3 children. That was a surprise to us. We had only asked for 2 kids between the ages of 8 and 12, and requested the oldest to be a girl so that we could share bedrooms. We were very excited to get the referral so quickly but 3 kids changed everything, the cost of adoption and travel, how to share bedrooms, a bigger vehicle, more of everything! The referral included information on their histories and I was moved to tears. For those of you who know me, that isn't so hard to imagine.

The oldest child was an 11 year old boy, who God has BIG plans for. His serving and sacrificial love for his siblings is honorable. We spent a weekend in prayer and conversation and felt that we were not able to accept referral of these children. We wrote our denial letter to Colombia stating we had only asked for 2 kids and were unable to accept these 3 kids. It was a difficult decision, those children need just what we have to offer, a family. I continue to pray for those children to have a God loving family. Within a week we received a phone call from our adoption agency that was shocking. Our program director told us that this has never happened before to them, but Colombia was wondering if we would consider a referral of the youngest 2 children of the same sibling group. We were even told that the oldest child had been spoken to about adoption and he stated that if it meant his brother and sister could have a family he wanted them to be adopted without him. We had peace in our earlier decision, but why was this happening. Often when I hear things that have never happened before, or not what I would choose, I start looking for God's fingerprints. I had the desire to end the pain of waiting. I wanted to accept the 3 kids. We never contemplated dividing the kids up, but went back to considering the 3 again. I went to bed that night tearful and sad. Sad that perhaps that the best chance for these brothers and sister was to be seperated and sad that we are waiting in a broken world. I know that our mourning will be turned to JOY. I am hopeful, but yet I am still waiting, and its not easy. I woke up in the middle of the night, angry. Angry that we were put in the position of having to make a decision to divide family. We are obediently adopting to unite family and grow the Kingdom. Confident in our first decision and at peace we said no.

Continuing the lyric's of While I'm Waiting. "I will move ahead bold and confident, taking every step in obedience, while I'm waiting. I will serve you while I'm waiting. I will worship while I'm waiting. I will not faint, I'll be running the race even while I'm waiting."

The next phone call from our adoption agency was only a couple of weeks later. On October 23 while I was getting my hair cut, I saw the most desired of area codes appear on my phone, 314. When I spoke with Ashley she said Colombia had "pseudo-referral" for us. It was sisters ages 9 and 11. She said the reason it wasn't a normal referral was because the girls were dark skinned and Colombia didn't want to write the long referral if we wouldn't accept AfroColombianas. I said we will and she said it will go quick. Well due to some paperwork errors and who knows what else, quick was more than 8 weeks later. Then it was still another week! Our agency received the referral from Colombia, but was unable to translate some of the faxed documents due to the quality of the fax, so it had to go by slow mail. So Ashley and Nichole could see pictures of our girls and tells us they were beautiful, but we had to wait. Intense waiting! Finally we were sent their pictures and the referral letter only. As I opened the email with their picures tears just streamed down my face. They are beautiful!! I had been waiting so long to see them.
What joy, what peace just in time for us to share over Christmas with family! We couldn't wait to be able to say yes, but we had to wait more. Just a few more days to receive the entirety of the referral, their historical, familial, medical... info. Yes! We said YES. Now guess what we are doing?

Waiting!

"I'm waiting. I am waiting on You Lord. And I am peaceful, I am waiting on You Lord. Though its not easy, but faithfully I will wait. Yes I will wait. I will serve You while I'm waiting. I will worship while I'm waiting" by John Waller.

Waiting, Worshipping, Serving, and I am peaceful. Okay we have also been drywalling, painting, laying flooring, putting in light fixtures, hanging doors, moving furniture. Okay I was waiting and serving in as many ways as I could at Lutheran Church of Hope and Doug was doing all the hard work in our basement. I had know idea when I married him what skills he would have! Soon the basement will be done and Syd, Rosa and Kim will have a room to share down there!

We believe our wait to meet our daughters will end as we anticipate travelling to Colombia in March. Just wait and I'll know more soon!

Peace of our Lord be with you!